For Anna

My heart sank when I heard the news. Tears welled in my eyes when I asked myself, “What would I say to Anna if I had the chance?” Our backgrounds are, in many ways, very similar. I was homeschooled in Bill Gothard’s “program” (aka cult). I was never encouraged to have a career. I too was told that courtship was oh-so-much-wiser than dating. Saving yourself, sexually, for marriage, was of the utmost importance. Fortunately, I discovered grace and a little bit of what it truly means to follow Christ (and not mere “Biblical principles”) before I was married. While I was not surprised at the latest news about Josh Duggar, my heart was broken for his wife.

If I could talk to Anna I would simply tell her, “Josh’s issues are not your fault. His issues in no way reflect on your ability to be a good wife or on your desirability as a woman. You could not have been sexy enough to keep him from making these choices. You did everything the “right” way in your world …and you have every right to be angry that it didn’t work.  I am so very, very sorry for the pain and grief you are experiencing. This is not your fault. Know that you are a strong woman who has a voice. You are in, perhaps, the darkest moment of your life. But there are so many people cheering for you. You have the love and prayers of many. You are not alone. Someday this will be behind you. Until then, know that you are going to make it through. This situation is not fair, but you’ve got what it takes to come out strong.

Sending love and prayers her way. Because nobody deserves to be so brutally betrayed.


  1. BeccaDish says:

    Well said. My heart breaks for her too. I can’t imagine being in her shoes, post partum, 4 littles and finding out that her husband has a bigger than life addiction. So many prayers to be prayed for her and her babies. My heart breaks…

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