Free to Fail

633.

A few days ago I calculated the number of days we have been in our home. 633 days (yes, I’m goofy).  It was also the number of times I noticed our bedroom hearth and cringed.

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It bugged me every day, multiple times a day. When you own an 100-year-old house that is still in the process of being renovated you quickly learn how to prioritize what irks you. Otherwise you will always have your panties in a wad.

Every day I could not help noticing this splattered, unfinished hearth. And every day I felt at least slightly irked.

Between being pregnant shortly after we moved in, unpacking, and a host of other projects, the hearth remained unpainted for nearly 2 years. While it’s true that I was busy finishing my degree, having another baby and living everyday life, I could have painted much earlier. But I was afraid. You see, when it comes to painting I am sloppy, inexperienced and I simply don’t enjoy the process. I have no idea what I’m doing and I feel like it’s inevitable that I will fail. Someone will see my work and say, “Well…she tried.”

Finally, after watching  this video by Crystal Paine, I looked at the ever-annoying hearth one morning and marched upstairs, found the paint and a brush and got to work. It didn’t take long. Jackson was in school and the girls were playing. I did my best. It’s not perfect, but it is a significant improvement.

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Sometimes you have to stop waiting until you can do something “just right” or until you don’t feel afraid. Do your best and realize it’s enough. Be free enough to fail. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

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